Completely and Utterly sick of Anorexia and bulimia…

Hie there everyone my name is T and I have been in hell for about 12 years. Anorexia and bulimia I’m so tired. I purged this morning and I am so sick of myself. On Monday I fasted, Tuesday and Wednesday I binged then fasted on Thursday and then today I binged sorta not as bad as Tuesday but enough to make me hate myself. I can’t even properly throw up anymore because my throat makes these weird noises as if it will rapture. I suppose it’s bound to happen after 5 years of bulimia. I discovered bulimia when I was 16, I’m now 21. I was anorexic the five years before that but in the 5 years of bulimia there have been bouts of anorexia I can’t win in life I have been losing everything since I was 11 when I decided to take a herbal supplement to lose weight because I thought I was fat and I wasn’t. That first taste of skinny has been the thing that has kept me on this highway to hell. 

On Monday I was pretty skinny wearing my size 8 skinny jeans and I felt so alive when they were drooping a bit but after this week’s binges I feel like a whale and I just can’t even live in my head anymore. I want out of my head into someone else’s. I want to live. I used to be so content with bulimia but now I’m absolutely sick of it.

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