Relapse.. It was imminent

So Today started out pretty weird, I slept in and I haven’t slept in a while then I did the inevitable I binged at first it was just a bowl of cereal and I knew I should have stopped after that one normal sized bowl but things got out of hand like they always do.

What’s significant about today is I purged and I hate myself for it. I last purged 2 weeks ago and I feel so guilty. I’m graduating from university in a few months for goodness sake, I’m young and have my whole life ahead of me but that’s only the exterior I cannot escape my mind. My eating disorder follows me everywhere I go.My throat is killing me, what have I done.

Today I feel defeated.

Today I lost my power.

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