My pear shape

Lordy knows how much I dislike my pear shape it’s  awful. I consider it a curse.  Whenever I work out or trying to lose weight I always always focus on my lower body my upper body pretty much takes care of itself. My hips are gigantic you have no idea. I feel like I’m not in propotion.

I was looking at old pictures of myself when I was about 9 and I was wearing a cute little mini skirt so cute I noticed that even at the age of 9 I actually had big hips and I always felt self conscious the kids at primary school the kids called me Big mama and they would chant “big mama apedza loaf ra mama” which translates to big mama ate her mum’s whole loaf of bread. I remember how I felt huge sitting on my desk in grade 5 and I stopped wearing a jersey with my uniform and I wore a blazer instead because at least a blazer would cover up my massive hips.

Swimming time was a nightmare I made my parents go to my doctor and ask him to write a letter stating that I had asmtha and should not swim, swimming was complusory at my primary school. No way was I going to swim wear a swimming costume in front of my skinny classmates I would feel like an elephant. Looking back at the pictures of me in grade 6 I realised that I wasn’t even fat I was just taller thatn the rest of the kids but it’s not like I can have a do over and go back to that time and see myself as a person of normal weight maybe if I can do that I would not be where I am now, I would not be who I am now.

In grade 7 I decided I was so fed up with my hips and always feeling so fat and not being able to do sports because I did not want to be seen in shorts. I decided it was time for me to take action and lose weight. I already started skipping meals in grade 6 anyway but now I was going to be more strict. My dad took this herbal supplement called milu tea and I read the packet and it said weight loss was one of it’s many benefits hooray! I started taking the milu tea 3 big cups morning noon and night. That school holiday I lost weight and when I went back to school the next term I was so skinny and everyone commented on how fab I looked. My hips were trimmer I could fit into a pair of winter uniform slacks that I had last worn when I was in grade 3!

The funny thing is that in primary school they made fun of my pear shape but in highschool all the girls would say “you have a nice fugure” and instead of me being happy after being complimented like a normal person would I just hated it. My mum says you should be happy you were blessd with a beautiful body but I don’t feel blessed at all body wise

Everything is about my hips, I will literally get so moody if I wake up feeling like they have grown larger, for some people it’s their thighs, butt or stomach and I envy them I’d rather have a big butt than these hips.

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