Last night I saw something that I should not have seen, deep deep down I knew the truth but I kept snooping anyway I kept telling myself “ stop you can back out right now and it would not be too late” but I kept at it. When I saw the truth I immediately regretted my decision I can’t go back now. There is no way I can ever see this person in the same light again it’s not like they did something to me but this person is living a lie and it pains me to know that they are living life like that, I want them to be who they really are but the circumstances they are in says otherwise and I get that and that makes me angry.
I want to repress this information… this truth… because I think it would be easier to just forget. I can for see this secret of theirs being a burden that will weigh on me. The truth sometimes what it may reveal may not necessarily be hideous but what comes after is what is, I am only human and I will error I will judge and I will have an opinion that might be in conflict with what would normally be accepted. Can I spend the rest of my life keeping this secret behind my teeth maybe I’m jumping the gun a bit here, I keep hoping that this is just a huge misunderstanding but when it is written in bold ink I can’t deny I saw what I saw. I simply cannot.
I actually cried in my bed last night. I felt as though what I found out was crushing me, I felt something last night an emotion yes but it was brief it was more like pity… pity for this person because they have a tough road ahead of them. I suppose we all have secrets I can’t imagine how I would feel if someone found out that I had bulimia. The reason why I am so shocked is I’ve always thought that this person was the straight up person in our family, the one who is happier than the rest I know no one is perfect but they always seemed like they have it together and I admired them for that, I still do admire them but I can’t help but be sad it’s not my life but when you care about someone you sometimes hold their burdens and problems in your hands with or without them knowing. I’m trying to forgive myself for invading their privacy.
Why oh why did I open that can of worms to let it’s contents violently spill out.