I absolutely hate the beginning of a new month, I just go into this state of panic.. Someone please put the brakes on the days and the months they are moving too fast better yet put the brakes on life, everything is on full speed at the risk of sounding depressed.. I’m falling behind.
I swear it was June just two weeks ago and it was freezing we had the cozy fire in the fire place all warm and nice and now it’s September hot as hell and generally miserable because the heat is basically the epitome of misery. Even the nighttime coffees are not the same anymore because all you want is something cold. No more blankies on the sofa… Oh man! If I had my way I’d move to a cold country and never come back, I simply love the cold. In winter you wear trench coats, baggy things and you spend 3 months drowning in random swathes of fabric. I don’t mind that one bit because I get to hide my body but in summer I can’t wear all that and it’s easier for people to see my body without all those layers and you guessed right, I hate it.
I’m trying to think of what has changed in my life in the past 3 months and the answer is nothing much. Three months isn’t a lot to expect any significant change but I know that the next 3 months are going to be the most transforming. I am ready for the change right now this very second but the next moment I’ll feel differently.. Fear of failure coupled with fear of the unknown and I’ll just feel like throwing in the towel. I suppose this is quite normal… I get that, just have to keep the anxiety levels in check though because when an anxiety attack happens It’s incredibly easy to go psycho but hard to return to that previous mental space you were in.
So… September huh! I can’t believe it.. seriously there must be some mistake, maybe the calendars are wrong?! Feel like someone is playing a joke on me.
Everything is pretty foggy right now but it’s okay that I’m lost in a sea of possibility, self doubt, hope and despair because like the theme song of the cartoon Brace face said “I’ll work it out in the end”. I’ll work it out in the end and as I go along as well.