This morning at 3:30am I woke up with the most intense stomach ache and a bit of nausea, I then decided that it’d be best to make myself sick so that I could feel better and I did afterwards I felt so relieved but how it got me thinking how is making myself for the purpose of lessening my nausea different from doing it for the purpose of purging a binge, I know there’s a difference but in the back of my mind I was actually thrilled because I was purging a late dinner.. Disappeared calories, I would wake up with feeling tinier.
I am taking a weight loss supplement because I want to be so skinny, so hollow… So perfect on my graduation day in 2 weeks time. This supplement has a light laxative so I suppose that explains the stomach ache and this morning’s epic bowel movement. I’m thinking of using laxatives for the next couple of days but I am a bit apprehensive since I’ve never used them before. Does anyone on here use laxatives? and what effects can I expect? What type of brand that is common works? Is it worth it?
I hate the way inside my stomach it feels like I have a bruise, it happens when I eat a meal and retain it, it never happens when I binge huge amounts and immediately purge. It sucks no amount of those syrups that are supposed to help with ulcers etc work. I’ve even tried herbs they work for the first week then they stop working, annoying. I should go to see my doctor so he can prescribe something that will work but when I go there they have to weigh me, track my progress and what not, I just can’t deal with stepping on a scale. Scales to me are by far the scariest objects. I’ll just keep on trying different remedies until I find one that works consistently.
The past weekend had been great ED wise, fruit, vegetables, grilled chicken and plenty of fluids. I actually enjoyed it but yesterday I kinda went off track which I knew would happen. It seems every thing unravels on Mondays and carries on into Tuesday sometimes Wednesday.