Sinking

I hate this feeling, I feel like I’m sinking. I hate myself for being so unappreciative. I hate myself for complaining all the time. I hate being in a vicious cycle that I can’t escape from. I hate how I’m so ambitious because the possibility of getting those things is slim right now. Why wasn’t I just less ambitious maybe if I wasn’t in a constant state of want I’d be much happier.

I am very agitated and irritable tonight. I’m so full from bingeing, my throat is killing me from purging. I’ve had a running stomach for a while now, it’s the stress. There was a point this morning when I screamed out loud to an empty house that I didn’t care if I dropped dead, I meant it then… I don’t feel that way now.

Bad mood, bad life. I need some sleep.

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