The final moments

It’s 23:12pm I’m sitting in my bed, typing this from my shitty Samsung. I’m only 21 years old for less than an hour and it only just hit me now! I can’t express enough how much I hate it when the number increases. I feel so trapped in this life and the older I get the more it becomes apparent to me how entrenched I am in this miserable existence.

22, Twenty-two! Perhaps I’m making a big deal out of a normal progression that happens to everyone but man 22 if I ever felt old now I literally feel like a fossil. I never thought I would make it this far having been bogged down by eating disorders, an unexplained head condition, anxiety and depression. I just hope this year will be a defining year for me, I hope I’ll be that year… that age when I’ll be able to see what’s over the horizon. I don’t forsee myself crying, I feel empty but like all my past 2 eves of my birthdays I’m going to lay in bed and do a countdown whilst listening to my favourite band- Paramore.
I’ll be okay, This is life!

23:27pm almost the 15th of November, I’m almost 22. Twenty-two!!

Wow!

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