So sick.

I am so sick of trying, giving blood, giving all my oxygen and keeping faith. I am a good person and everything good thing I try to do for myself comes with struggle. I do not want it easy but I wish for once all these obstacles being tossed my way would just disappear and let me accomplish what I set out to accomplish..

I am sick of little things sending me off the rails, these little problems haphazardly floating in my head that then culminate into a giant problem. It’s hard to carry what I carry… these hideous emotions and the feeling of being crushed under the weight of my hopelessness. I find myself craving a manic episode… some kind of high, a feeling of some sort. I am so mentally exhausted. I never knew there one could be this stressed.

I am a just a ghost roaming in the halls of monotony in an atmosphere that is drenched in melancholy. Life exhausts me, I am so sick. I give up… for now.

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