Of relinquishing control and disturbing dreams

I was feeling really low today so I decided to take a nap, well first I cried a little then eventually managed to fall asleep. A lot of things are turning to shit in my life right now, I am analysing everything to the point where everything is so clear and I do not like what I am seeing it’s very much like a dead end…. hitting the concrete wall and not sure if I’ll ever find my way around.

I’ve found that wanting too much control on something will result in you losing control over everything rendering you powerless, I’ve always known this but I have experienced it very recently and now I can really believe it. Relinquish control to gain control.

During my nap I had a very weird dream that is now kind of disturbing me. I dreamt I was in another country, somewhere I’ve been to 4 months ago. I was walking and I could not recognise the street names or anything but by the feel of atmosphere I knew which city I was in. I was alone and slightly panicking, for some reason I think I was headed to the bus stop then all of a sudden I saw a cemetery across the road then I saw two goths walking towards me, I go so scared (irrationally) and I started to run in the opposite direction. The goths looked so angry not the goths you see in the street or whatever these were on another level. They were marching towards me like they wanted to offer me as sacrifice.

I started to run but I had a huge satchel on my back which by the way appeared from nowhere. I then saw these two teen girls and tried asking them for help but it’s like they could not see me, a lot of people passed me not even acknowledging my presence or saying excuse me because it was small pathway and I was in their way. The goths then caught up with me but they walked past me like they couldn’t see me. All these people who passed me were so fixated on whatever it was that was ahead and they had to get there fast.

I was not able to finish my dream because my brother woke me up and started asking me stupid questions which infuriated me so much! This dream freaked me out, it wasn’t until hours later I came up with the conclusion that maybe these people could not see me because I was dead, that explains the cemetery maybe my soul was just roaming about after I had departed. I don’t know… I am no dream interpreter but this was beyond disturbing actually.


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