Procrastination fueled.

I spent two and a half hours in the library today and I got the ball rolling on my first assignment which is due in two weeks, I was so lost as to what it is that was required of me… I still am lost incredibly but at least I know the general direction which I am supposed to take… sorta.

I hate when my perfectionism literally starts choking me like a noose around my neck, my head is feeling funny from all the concentration. I just want my marks to be perfect. I am still confused as to how one does research, I tried looking for sources on my Uni’s online library but it was like looking for a needle in a haystack, needless to say I could not find what I was looking for and if I had I’m sure I would not even know how to use the information or how to apply it or interpret it in a way that is original. The word plagiarism keeps ringing in my head. There isn’t enough information on the topic I am supposed to research, going in blind here.. Oh boy!
After the library I had to go and collect some textbooks which weighed about 5kg, yikes! I felt like I was going to fall over walking to the bus station.

I am restricting right now after eating litres of ice-cream on Monday and a truckload of food I can’t even remember. At least I did not have biscuits because they are my weakness. I had some fruit, veggies, tea and juice today and tomorrow that is what I will have as well.

It’s okay though before Friday is going to be awesome, as a single gal on valentines day I have no one to spoil me. I am not complaining nor am I bitter just a little curious and envious about what it would be like to be spoilt rotten by a significant other, I have never had that.. well except for this one time in grade 7 when a boy named William gave me a Mickey mouse doll on valentines (which I later threw in his face a week later when I found out he had given Lorraine the exact same doll for her birthday) but I guess that counts for something right?! I am planning on buying myself some chocolate, biscuits and sweets come home eat them in front of the tv and just forget about assignments and deadlines.

I had forgotten the pull of procrastination I should be studying right now, looking at the pile of textbooks on my desk right now makes me want to fly away to a land where people pass without studying!


5 thoughts on “Procrastination fueled.

  1. i know what it’s like to be a perfectionist. i think it’s the root of most of my problems. you described it perfectly. it’s definitely feels like being choked. probably because i’m usually on the verge of a panic attack every time my perfectionism kicks in.

    • For it’s the perfectionism that triggers the panic attack because I go into this OMG OMG OMG state when I start fearing the result isn’t going to be anywhere near perfect. What a combo hey? Perfectionism and the ol’ panic attack thrown in!

  2. I’m a procrastinator. I always have been. I would do projects at the very last minute, get a grade of barely passing, and continue on that horrible streak all the way through life. Ugh.

    Valentines Day is overrated. I got flowers and a beautiful card last year. Then he left me. I still have the card, and nothing else. Just isn’t worth it; the pain.

    • Procrastinaters unite, tomorrow!
      I suppose you’re right Valentines is indeed overrated, It’s funny I just thought of the people I know in relationships/marriages and all of them are having problems, the husband is a cheater, a closet wife beater etc. It’s all overrated!

      Your situation sucks, I hope you pain fades away with time.

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