Slave to academia

What a long day, spent the majority of it studying. I am feeling panicky and I am definitely obsessing about this assignment I usually tell my mum so she can give me a pep talk or whatever but I am embarrassed to tell her, no one likes a complainer and a worrier.

This is all I’ve been talking about for months… the amazing much needed post grad degree then she paid my tuition so how dare I confess that I am not coping because I have no idea what I am doing. I am so afraid of failing, I have this deep seated need to prove people wrong, to amaze them, to gain respect as a result of academic achievements.

It’s such a scary place in my head right now but I haven’t let all the bad thoughts consume me. I’ll give myself a break tomorrow then I’ll work on my assignment on Saturday. I will try to remain calm… I have to believe it’s going to be alright because if I don’t I’ll go crazy.

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4 thoughts on “Slave to academia

  1. I always got panicky about school no matter what. It’s the perfectionist thing. It sucks. You’ll be okay though. Just try and give yourself a break.

  2. When you panic, it just means that it’s important to you. If you were all “whatever” about it, then it would show that you don’t care about your academia. So, embrace the fact that you worry. You will be fine 🙂

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