What a long day, spent the majority of it studying. I am feeling panicky and I am definitely obsessing about this assignment I usually tell my mum so she can give me a pep talk or whatever but I am embarrassed to tell her, no one likes a complainer and a worrier.
This is all I’ve been talking about for months… the amazing much needed post grad degree then she paid my tuition so how dare I confess that I am not coping because I have no idea what I am doing. I am so afraid of failing, I have this deep seated need to prove people wrong, to amaze them, to gain respect as a result of academic achievements.
It’s such a scary place in my head right now but I haven’t let all the bad thoughts consume me. I’ll give myself a break tomorrow then I’ll work on my assignment on Saturday. I will try to remain calm… I have to believe it’s going to be alright because if I don’t I’ll go crazy.