Today it’s day 4 with this migraine that won’t go away, I’ve taken different types of painkillers but it just goes away ,for a bit then it comes back. It’s not really intense or anything but it feels like my head is being squeezed into a confined space. Last night I took some painkillers the ones that make you very drowsy and I was out like a log. My mum woke me up at 3am because the oven was on fire but I could not even lift up my arm nevermind getting up to go and check it out. My brother is very irresponsible and careless, the last time it was the gas he left on had I not smelled it and then proceeded to light a candle or something I could have died. He came home wasted then decided to grill some pork, who in the world grills pork at midnight while under the influence. He forgot his pork and the oven and the cupboard next to the stove was on fire.
Thank God my mum woke up when she did otherwise the kitchen and the house would have caught fire and we would have died, all the windows of the whole house have burglar bars and we store all the keys of the house including the keys to all the doors that lead outside in the kitchen (That needs to change) My mum was out of town for two days and she came back on Saturday morning had she decided to stay one more day it could have been a different story because I was asleep heavily medicated and my brother was passed out on the couch. It infuriates me that he creates a situation but then he doesn’t experience it because he always blacks out or whatever.
Mum and I spent the day airing out the house and him? Well he slept all day then only just woke up now, stuffing his face with food he didn’t make, using plates he won’t clean, I feel sorry for mum having to always clean up after him. And the way he is so unappreciative of what she does for him makes me hate him so much.
I am so furious with him for putting all our lives at risk for the hundredth time. He behaves like a mad person and frankly I have had enough of his crap, he is a wonderful person when he is sober but when he drinks he turns into this imbecile with no reasoning capacity. Every weekend he is always up to the same old tricks, we don’t give him house keys anymore for security purposes because he always ends up losing them. So every weekend when he comes home late mum always has to wake up and unlock the door for him and then monitor him to make sure he doesn’t leave the gas on or leave the house again and leave the door wide open while we sleep. He is a nightmare when he is drunk he reminds me of my dad and I resent him for that.
We are not on speaking terms I need a break from all his bullshit. It’s not like my brother and do not get along we do… a lot but I can’t stand him when he behaves like a raging lunatic, he’s 25 years old for pity’s sake. At work he is a professional, he does his job well they love and respect him but he behaves like an arsehole at home. I just don’t understand it!
All of this makes me determined to move out of this house, get a place of my own, paint the walls red, live my life the way I want to and just be.