Today was super productive I finally managed to gather the confidence to ask my supervisor the questions I needed to ask, I was so in the dark with my research proposal to the point where I didn’t even know where to ask asking for help so during the weekend I did some serious studying and figured out the general direction I ought to take. He was super helpful I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I then went to the library at 9am then left at 2:30pm, I was a machine today and I felt my old self re-surface and it felt good. I spent the past two weeks feeling discouraged and I was thinking of just giving up because I couldn’t take it anymore, it felt like my head was caving in then the thought of wasting my mum’s money made me sick. When someone does something for me I feel like I owe them and I will always owe them for all eternity or unless I return the favour. If someone does something for me the first thing that goes through my mind is “great now I feel bad” and that’s not to say I am unappreciative I am…very.
Anyway it’s almost 11 and I’m gonna go to bed, waking up bright and early tomorrow to head to the library… don’t know how long this motivation will but I’m just gonna go with it. I love how fast today wentt for me, I hate it when days seem longer because I can feel it and that depresses me.