Fear of milk

Woah woah woah, I seriously need to lay off the hot calorie rich beverages. I have been using 2% milk but I don’t know if that will make me gain. I haven’t actually used milk in teas and stuff for years, I did consume it on binge-purge days but now I am incorporating it into my normal day consumption mainly in coffee, black coffee is amazing but white coffee is also great and in this cold weather it really hits the spot. You go for years without eating/drinking something and then when you do you can’t stop.

I have been drinking a lot of hot chocolate as well and basically really rich (or at least I think so beverages). I have been researching the difference between skim milk and 2% milk and it seems skim milk has fewer calories. I know how many calories a food item has by heart and I can convert kilojoules to calories really quick with my head, but when it comes to stuff like milk I had already convinced myself that it was one of the foods on my “no no” list (with the exception of binge days when I had it but in a way it doesn’t count as consuming milk”  but now I would like a little milk here and there but I am so afraid my body will be like woah woah woah what is this and I’ll gain weight.

I had a heavenly cup of hot chocolate milk earlier the packet said “full cream” but at the back it was written “98% fat-free” so that made me panic after reading “full cream” because which is which.

I drink a lot of coffee throughout the day, So I’m just going to incorporate one cup of coffee with milk and the rest without, also I put one teaspoon of sugar in each cup but I hate the way that one teaspoon adds up into quite a lot of calories after having one too many cups, also lattes and cappuccinos are my weaknesses. It sucks when the calorie content of the hot beverages you have throughout the day add up to the same amount of calories you would consume from a chicken mayo sandwich or something similar.

I was just laughing at myself the other day, I had a giant cup of ice-cream then I decided I wanted a coffee so I put one level teaspoon of sugar and not a grain more in the coffee, it tasted a bit bland but I REFUSED to add even half a teaspoon more because sugar is bad… it’s the enemy? but I had just consumed a truckload of sugar laden full-fat ice-cream.  ED logic is messed up.

That being said I find it weird how people criticize those who order a burger and a diet coke, if I were to eat a burger I would probably freak about eating it and would end up eating the meat and the tomato but that’s beside the point, I would indeed order a diet coke because why would you add more calories to an already calorie rich meal, if I can save a hundred and something calories (142) I think by drinking diet instead of regular then yes please I will, It’s not “defeating” as some people might say it is.

Anyway I bought some fresh veggies this morning and the fridge is stoked with chicken breasts and fish so I am excited about dinner, of all the things I eat dinner is the meal I NEVER feel guilty about eating, it’s mostly just the chicken, fish or chicken livers… cow livers too and veggies. If the world’s supply of the said meat were to be exhausted I would panic for sure. Pretty positive vibes flowing right now, it’s mellow in my head.


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