I have grown weary of acting like I am above everything when in actual fact it’s courage that I lack which prevents me from participating in life. I can’t seem to get past everything and just live my life. I am fixed on something… an unhealthy mindset, I have the ability to just take a massive leap and move forward but I can’t. If I am to be incredibly ridiculous I can say that maybe there’s an invisible sinister force holding me back but I like to take accountability for my actions or lack thereof.
I was watching this religious channel the other day and this woman was preaching about how there are some people who live in a town of worry and negativity and that it was now time to come out of that town. That sermon resonated with me on so many levels, that’s me right there she was talking about. I wish I had my mum’s faith, she has faith that can move mountains, faith in God, faith in her children and faith that my future won’t be bleak as I strongly believe/fear it will be.
It’s freezing inside but even I, the queen of gloom (as my brother jokingly calls me) can admit that it’s a beautiful day out, the sun is shining just right… not too warm. Maybe I’ll pop outside for a bit.