Fathers day? oh please

Please stop shoving your fucking amazing dads in my bloody face

That’s what I found myself saying after scrolling through a barrage of pictures of people with their dads all smiles and sickening lovely captions on various social media platforms. If I say I never crave that warm father-daughter relationship, I’d be lying. It is not though something I think of every waking moment I tend to think of it on days like today but only a little bit, I’m not exactly dying inside over the fact that my dad is an awful person but I am human and sometimes I get envious of girls who have that bond with their dads. I wish fathers out there knew how to raise their daughters right.

I will never have those daughter/dad moments, we can’t have a decent conversation without him going on a rant and I already have this deep seated hate for him I disregard anything he says even before he opens his mouth, he didn’t come to my graduation (thank god if he did he would have ruined it), one day when I get married he will never walk me down the aisle and when I have kids I don’t think I’d want him anywhere near them. So there’s that.

If I am so done with him why do I keep writing about him you’d think by now he’d have no effect on me but he does even if it’s just a little bit. I find myself wishing him dead sometimes then I think of karma, if I am wishing my own father dead I’ll definitely get what’s coming to me if it hasn’t already come back around because why am I stuck in life. Maybe karma came back around already, I hated my father so much I am paying for it because how can a person have so much hate. Suppose I’m being punished for being a bad person. Suppose I’m being ridiculous.

With that being said, it’s already Monday here but happy fathers day to my mum.


2 thoughts on “Fathers day? oh please

  1. I feel the same way you do. I put a post up last night saying how much I despised Father’s Day because I didn’t have one of those and my step-dad said “I can read between the lines” and then blocked me on Facebook. Stupid jerk. Thanks for confirming why I hate Father’s Day.

    People say we are supposed to forgive those that hurt us. But sometimes it’s not always about forgiveness. Sometimes it’s about living through the emotional pain they inflict on us constantly.

    • Your step-dad blocked you on Facebook that’s very childish of him, you’re better off anyway doing away with someone who doesn’t want to around. I agree with you forgiveness isn’t even the issue at times but the hurtful bullshit they toss our way and the way memories of what happened keep haunting us.

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