Please stop shoving your fucking amazing dads in my bloody face
That’s what I found myself saying after scrolling through a barrage of pictures of people with their dads all smiles and sickening lovely captions on various social media platforms. If I say I never crave that warm father-daughter relationship, I’d be lying. It is not though something I think of every waking moment I tend to think of it on days like today but only a little bit, I’m not exactly dying inside over the fact that my dad is an awful person but I am human and sometimes I get envious of girls who have that bond with their dads. I wish fathers out there knew how to raise their daughters right.
I will never have those daughter/dad moments, we can’t have a decent conversation without him going on a rant and I already have this deep seated hate for him I disregard anything he says even before he opens his mouth, he didn’t come to my graduation (thank god if he did he would have ruined it), one day when I get married he will never walk me down the aisle and when I have kids I don’t think I’d want him anywhere near them. So there’s that.
If I am so done with him why do I keep writing about him you’d think by now he’d have no effect on me but he does even if it’s just a little bit. I find myself wishing him dead sometimes then I think of karma, if I am wishing my own father dead I’ll definitely get what’s coming to me if it hasn’t already come back around because why am I stuck in life. Maybe karma came back around already, I hated my father so much I am paying for it because how can a person have so much hate. Suppose I’m being punished for being a bad person. Suppose I’m being ridiculous.
With that being said, it’s already Monday here but happy fathers day to my mum.