Status update: 1:43am, purging.

1:43am in my room in the middle of winter  purging in a hat, I ate a muffin and a cupcake because I was feeling extremely hungry  I could not sleep. I swear, sometimes I do this just because I can, its not like the guilt would have been too much for me to bear or it would have kept me awake just thinking about it, I would have gotten over it like I always do.

So now I am back safely in my warm bed, I sprayed perfume ( hate air freshener) in my room just to be on the safe side, would hate if anyone entered my room tomorrow and found it smelling all kinds of funky. For someone who is extremely and annoyingly hygienic I don’t at all seem to be bothered with having a hat with purge under my bed but that’s minor stuff compared to when I was 15 and would purge in plastic bags and then placed the sealed the plastic bags and placed them in a trunk, we had a cleaning lady who lived with us and she was always up and down the whole house all day so didn’t get the chance to throw the plastic bags out. It got so bad and so smelly worms actually festered but it was a good thing my room was off limits. I ended up having to empty the bags one by one into a bucket and then poured it away down the drain outside, that poor trunk was never the same again. Being a bulimic makes you do the most disgusting things.

Falling asleep is inevitable now but I probably purged my painkillers and I don’t have more, got cramps so terrible I would gladly swap my ovaries for a pair of hairy balls.

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One thought on “Status update: 1:43am, purging.

  1. It is really crazy the things bulimia makes ya do that’s nasty. I have puked in bags as well. Haven’t don’t it in a hat yet, but if I have too I will :/ I’ve hidden vomit under my bed till morning time because I was afraid my family would hear me sneak it out to discard.. When puking is involved I become less hygienic, if that makes sense lol

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