I am laying in my bed right now alternating between crying and raging, I am so upset because of everything that has gone down today, my new professor that I was recently assigned to (despite being happy with my previous one) is supposed to be giving me pointers on my research project but she is basically ignoring me and all the other students seem to be on the right track and are way ahead of me because their professors actually help them, I can feel this lump in my throat and it won’t go away and to top that off something is wrong with the power lines and we have had no electricity since 5am, the fridges are leaking & it’s a huge mess. I feel consumed by today, consumed then spat out.
It was all going well, I was drinking my black coffee and eating my fruit then BAM! at 3pm I started bingeing on cereal, being bored was part of the reason I binged and another reason was that I wanted something to eat but it was the classic all or nothing. I purged and and now I feel nauseaous but that was hours ago I must eat something.
My mum is calling me saying something about why I’m sitting in here when everyone (meaning her) is in the living room, I snapped at her and right afterwards I felt guilty, it’s so easy taking your frustrations out on the first person who talks to you when you’ve spent the day alone and angry.