I haven’t been myself this whole week, I have been talking to someone for a while and he seems very great. Let’s call him D. He’s 27, we have so much in common and I think he might be the one.. Heavy I know. The whole thing is a two way street but mainly leaning towards his side since he always initiates the conversations because I never know what to say. What do you say in texts to keep the conversation alive? I don’t know if this is what you would call butterflies in ones stomach but I have had a “stomach ache” for the past few days and each time he texts me my stomach turns from excitement, there is something that I am feeling and I have never felt it before.
Food doesn’t taste the same, tv shows aren’t that interesting all of a sudden and bingeing seems pointless this week. I know my nature, I am someone who tends to jump the plot and start visioning the start of this happy intense love that has never existed before. My tendency to think this way has led me to the belief that maybe I am a little bit clinically insane and it’s something I have accepted, I try to control my delusions, I really do but sometimes I just get carried away with myself.
D lives a couple of kilometres from where I live, a good couple of hours drive if we decide to meet up in person for lunch or whatever, We are not there yet, far from it actually. I want to try to see how far this will go.
I however, can’t help but feel exposed the more we talk, if I gave an air of mystic when we started talking I feel like it’s already starting to disappear and soon I won’t be that interesting. I want to smash my phone against a wall and never talk to him and at the same I want to know to everything there is to know about him and talk to him all day…everyday about nothing and everything.