My dog died and I wasn’t even moved, am I repressing the emotions for later..
I don’t know, what I do know is that it has gotten to this point where nothing bad shocks me because it’s become the norm. I was sprawled out on the floor this afternoon, feeling the coolness of the ceramic tiles then I started crying not just shedding a tear or two but I just in the same manner I did back in August, the lowest point I have ever been with regards to depression. I felt so weightless in my grief like my hands were made of paper and it was though gravity had lost it’s grip literally and metaphorically. I cried the way a child would cry out for their mother only it was stifled, I didn’t make a sound.
Now I’m here it’s past midnight and my thoughts have gone to sleep, all that torments me isn’t in my head tonight… my demons have gone out for the night it seems.