1:22am thoughts

On the very first day of the year, I purged. I didn’t even binge, I just wanted it out. It’s funny how things never change but this is all on me. My knees are weak from purging but I will carry on, the purging has got to stop especially now. I can’t afford to be too run down to study, something has to give.

The festive season makes one lose track of the days of the week, well to be accurate the festive season is over and it’s back to normal. Exams end of the month and I am ricocheting between a state of readiness and absolute crippling terror. I have decided that it’s okay for me to be selfish this month, if I come across as distant and uninterested then too bad but I can’t let myself be distracted just because I want to hold on to someone and I don’t want them to lose interest in me. I can’t always be available.

1:22am, I swear there needs to be more hours in the day.

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4 thoughts on “1:22am thoughts

  1. Im studying too and there definitely needs to be more hours in the day. I’m actually quite glad that everything is back to normal, the holidays sometimes feel like they distuot my routine a little too much. X

  2. omg. don’t know if you’ve been reading my blog. told my bf I wouldnt purge and that our agreement was that he would stop smoking. I fucked up today. I got through one day… it was the hardest thing ever. He saw me yesterday so it was ok, and today..i just couldn’t take it. purging at work in the patients toilets…then I was weak in the knees too! I believe in you! you’re young and you have so much potential!! good luck for the new year xo

  3. Hey Bendy Mind, I can only imagine how difficult it must have been purging in the toilets and getting back to work. I’m sorry you gave in and purged but a day without purging is something… I’m not one to dish out ED advice.. the blind leading the blind but baby steps forgive yourself and do your best. Quitting cold turkey is unrealistic anyway. Onwards 🙂

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