Crunch Time

I don’t know why I’m carrying on this destructive path, I feel out of touch with my everyday emotions it’s as though I’m in this zone where it’s only just me and it’s quiet but also dangerous.

Only 2 days until exams start, I can’t stop bingeing and purging, my hands need something to do, I need release so I eat anything not nailed down then purge and repeat. It’s my way of coping with the stress but funny enough it does the opposite as it’s a time waster and exacerbates the stress and anxiety. In my heart I know I’ve read and know 90% of the theory, I’ve revised but I feel like I don’t know anything like I haven’t grasped any of the concepts and I fear failing so much because I don’t want to fail and waste money and time not to mention the humiliation.

Trying to take bite fulls of what I can actually chew but the perfectionist in me says it cannot be done. The clock is ticking (God it’s so loud) and I need to get a grip.

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5 thoughts on “Crunch Time

  1. maybe try to unwind for a little bit, and do some self care. Take a bath, or read a good book, watch a funny tv show, give yourself a facial, somethings to calm your nerves and take your mind off things. Breathe. 🙂

  2. I hear you. Catch 22. These exams will be done soon. And whilst they loom and the revision is all consuming along with the binge/purge, I hope with the end of the exam period you will find blessed relief and rest. Until then, I’m sending all my thoughts of supportive strength in your direction. Tough days will soon be replaced with an easing up. You can do it. xx

  3. If only exams did not exist! Best of luck, and I hope you get one day or some hours without the binge/purge before you start on you’re period. You say you know 90%, that is probably more than 90% of the rest of your class. I recommend Downton Abbey (tv show) or the Harry Potter movies for relaxing.

  4. I am exactly the same. I spend all my study time binging, eventually purging, and then at the end I can’t concentrate because I’m so spent from the b/p. And then I feel stupid because I don’t know anything I’m supposed to know.

    Sorry I don’t have anything helpful to say, but at least know that you’re not alone. *hugs*

  5. Hello Love,

    I really feel for you and I know how stressful school is 😦 I would waste so much time before stressful events (mainly exams! but even stupid things like packing and moving) bingeing and purging instead.. I was so stressed and the only thing I could do to relieve the stress was to stuff my face. Also, I found that eating was the only thing I could do at the same time as studying, so I felt like I wasn’t wasting my time! I wouldn’t let myself take 30 mins to go for a walk or an hour for a TV show.. although in the end it would have been more productive.

    I know it seems counterproductive but try to step away from studying for a bit and treat yourself. You will be renewed and in a better frame of mind to study.

    Wishing you all the best!
    K

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