I don’t know why I’m carrying on this destructive path, I feel out of touch with my everyday emotions it’s as though I’m in this zone where it’s only just me and it’s quiet but also dangerous.
Only 2 days until exams start, I can’t stop bingeing and purging, my hands need something to do, I need release so I eat anything not nailed down then purge and repeat. It’s my way of coping with the stress but funny enough it does the opposite as it’s a time waster and exacerbates the stress and anxiety. In my heart I know I’ve read and know 90% of the theory, I’ve revised but I feel like I don’t know anything like I haven’t grasped any of the concepts and I fear failing so much because I don’t want to fail and waste money and time not to mention the humiliation.
Trying to take bite fulls of what I can actually chew but the perfectionist in me says it cannot be done. The clock is ticking (God it’s so loud) and I need to get a grip.