Quiet

It’s been quiet both in the house and my head, I have been on autopilot.. Studying, sleeping and taking copious amounts of paracetamol for an unrelenting migraine but I’m FINE. I did my crying, I never thought I’d be able to stop, got the eye bags and now it’s time to repress everything.

Monday morning was the lowest I’ve ever been this year, it was 3am and I was coming undone with nobody to talk to but I had you all, it’s not with words I can express just how much your support meant/means fellow bloggers, from the depths of my heart thank you beautiful souls.

After Monday morning’s verbal and emotional abuse horror show courtesy of my dad, that afternoon words were exchanged between dad and I after he had the nerve to ask me how my exam went, how dare he insult me by acting like he cares when we were up until all hours listening to him hurl hateful words. We yelled to the point where he threatened to beat me up, can you imagine?! All I could do was tell him he wouldn’t dare lay a finger on me but by this point I was shaking, I had to be strong so he wouldn’t see me breaking. I kept yelling standing by the kitchen door fearful if he were to come and indeed attempt to beat me up at least I’d be able to escape before he did anything. I’m glad though I did manage to get some of that rage out of my system, we haven’t spoken since and I’m more than fine with it.

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5 thoughts on “Quiet

  1. is there anyone you trust that you could live with? it sounds like you are in a terrible position. do you have any other family nearby that might be a possibility? worried about you….

    • I have family nearby but it’s one of those things where there really isn’t room for one more, I’m just hoping of all the loads of job applications I’ve sent I’ll get something… save up find somewhere to live. It’ll take a while but at least it’s somewhat possible

      • i hate that you have that pressure on you, ’cause i know it can be so stressful trying to find a job and finishing up school as well and having a mental health problems and dealing with your dad. i hope things start to get better for you. you’re in my thoughts and prayers as always girl. 🙂

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