Endless rumination

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It’s not so bad when I get out of the car to grab a rose and smell it and somehow find an ounce of peace in all this turmoil.

I really have been trying to keep myself together… to reign it in and I’m doing better than I expected. I’m going through extreme post-exam anxiety, I keep recalling things in my head and the questions and how I answered them. Just when I think I’m over it it hits me like a wave and I start googling and going over my notes…. giving myself heart attacks, calculating the minimum exam mark I need so I can pass etc etc, it’s been a nightmare and I feel stuck and painfully in waiting.

Last Monday after my exam I had an anxiety attack in the bus, hot flashes and everything it was a real major episode and it shocked me into silence, I could only keep it to myself because if I were to tell someone I would not know where to start.

I have to believe and tell myself it’s going to be okay, I reached out to a classmate of mine who did the same courses as me and she said she was going through something similar so I feel less alone but it doesn’t lessen the severity of the anxiety. I just want to pass.

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4 thoughts on “Endless rumination

  1. you haven’t posted anything in a while so i thought i would check in with you and make sure you were doing ok…hope you are well. 🙂 hows things going?

    • Hey Katie, thanks for checking in, things are going well… really really well.. I finished that grad programme YAYYY, all that anxiety was for nothing. Just been internalising otherwise I would have ended up like a broken record on here lol.

      • YAY!!! That’s great! I’m so happy for you that you finished! You can breathe easy now. Sounds great! Glad you’re doing well! 🙂

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