The year 2014 was challenging academically and otherwise, trying to contain a tsunami in a tea cup. I gave it my all but I know that I could have given a little more either way, I’m happy a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders… I passed and have successfully completed my grad programme and it feels amazing. There are no words to describe just how thrilled I am. My anxiety and worries seem so silly and irrational now, got a grin on my face and a spring in my step.
All the words of encouragement that everyone told me are reverberating in my head. I have noticed that I can actually listen and absorb positive words of encouragement now, before it would go in one ear and go out the other ear. I now tend to seek solace in the words that are along the lines of “you’re going to be okay” because I choose to believe what they believe to be true but I don’t believe IT well, not completely. I have a long way to go before I can rid of the toxic waste on my lungs, the tendency to see the glass as not just half empty but broken as well and the way I tend to see only doom and gloom ahead, I want to smell the flowers and feel the sun and not just burn. I feel oppressed by my worldview.
Tonight has been a good night and I thank God for this bridge that I have just crossed, I feel calmer now and convinced that I am capable.