Ramblings

I feel discarded and irrelevant, it’s almost hilarious. I wish it was my ego that was bruised and not my heart, which has a tendency to unnecessarily beat really fast and then get attached too soon. I don’t know why I have this tendency to worship people and never get over them, I suppose it’s all part of the obsessive personality.

This person is my sunshine, he came into my life at a point when I had lost all reason to live and to try and then he just happened to me, he is the first person that made me feel butterflies in my stomach and for the first time in my life I am taking risks, I’m much calmer and he inspires and motivates me to be the best version of myself and that it’s okay to mess up, you don’t need to be extraordinary, just forgiving. It’s rare to find someone who is similar to you but also your opposite and your personalities just balance each other out. I think I love him or something.

If wishes were horses I’d also need one wish and that is wishing that he lived nearer, I just wish he was within my grasp. Distance is a foe, right now I feel detached, 6 months you’d think you know where you stand but all we talk about endlessly is sports and then the flirting which I tremendously suck at and we religiously “like” each other’s stuff on social media, it’s all seems childish. I’m just stirring in confusion but I know there is something there worth fighting for.

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