Insensitive

I met up with my friend today so we could go to a casting. I was wearing layers and layers of clothing and the moment she saw me she called me fat, she said I had gained weight. Her exact words were “omg why are you fat now”. WTF. In all fairness she didn’t say it with malice… I think, she knows nothing about my eating disorder but honestly that was a very shitty thing to say. I just laughed it off and said Noooooooo and pretended to be Unbothered but since she uttered those words I’ve been feeling awful and resentful.

I came back home and weighed myself, my weight is still the same but it doesn’t change how disgustingly big I feel now. I measured myself frantically. I’m distracted and angry. I love my friend dearly we’ve been through worse lot together these past few months but right now I really dislike her and her barrage of snide comments.

I didn’t do well at the casting because my walk was atrocious, I suddenly began to feel my bits jiggling because of what was said to me. I got in a haze and that shred of self confidence I had flew away. I starved myself tonight, I’m better than that. I’m not 14, comments like that shouldn’t sway my decisions about eating food or not eating food thereof but here I am awake at 1:30 hungry, headache-y, angry, fat and just generally exhausted. I hate people sometimes

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8 thoughts on “Insensitive

  1. You have a diagnosis of anorexia and your bmi is low. Wish people would zip it. Says more about her than you regardless of how much you like each other xx

  2. Your friend is not a friend. Nobody in their right mind would say that to someone they care about, no matter what the intentions. Drop her ass like a bad habit.

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