I spoke to him tonight, we are no longer together but somehow we still share things, at somes you cannot sever a bond, a link, a night time ritual.
He told me about his baggage limit and how it was ridiculous, I joked about how he had too much lagguage, for a man. He replied that well since he’s leaving forever , he kind of had to. It was all very relaxed chatter but I found my vision getting hazy, I lost my grip and felt what I can only describe as a wordless ache. I managed a few lols in the midst of this foggy yet vivid realisation that he really is out the door.
He informed of his departure dates (5 days from now ) and once again, I felt the freezing yet burning sensation under my skin. Sometimes I think I am over it, I have grown weary of this emotion but every single time it finds new ways to strike me.
I was in denial. We used to say, we have 2 months left. Now, 5 days are left. He is leaving forever. I am so angry at the days for moving too swiftly, I am so angry he gets to leave whilst I remain in these burdens.
I am on the wrong side of forever.