Small Victories 

​​I am in bed having breakfast. Is this really me. 

It is  by no means adequate but I am eating nevertheless. The ED patterns are still evident. Dissecting a muffin and eating only the top part whilst leaving out the rest. This is very abnormal but it’s the only way I can do this eating and retaining food thing. I still feel embarrassed when someone looks at me whilst I am eating which is why in public I only consume fluids, less chance of looking like a greedy big hipped gal but eating is good an appetite is nothing to be ashamed of. This is something I need to change.

I still do buy secret food and eat it in my room. Biscuits, lollipops, ice cream. I get anxious if I don’t have a stash even if end up bingeing and purging it. At least I haven’t purged in days, yesterday was an exception, I needed that release and so I did.

I am contemplating eating cereal. I am going into dangerous territory. It’s only still 8am, I don’t wanna go off the edge now. 

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2 thoughts on “Small Victories 

  1. Good for you. I really believe structured eating is where it’s at.

    Cereal is a biggie for me, can’t go near it as it sets up a more more more response!! But not as horrendous as peanut bloody butter!! Xxxx

  2. It’s so hard to feel comfortable in public, especially with foods you’d normally only have in secret! Well done on trying hard to make good choices this morning. Keep going xx

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