I could not write for the majority of this week, mornings are brutal. They start of with a severe panic attack, reminders and this heavy emptiness. I can feel the emptiness in my hands as though I lost something so fundamental to my existence. I don’t know what to do.
I am still bloated with disappointment and hurt that won’t leave my veins. My soul is disturbed. It has been a trying week. I keep retracing back to how and when it all fell apart. I am shocked how someone can love you and seem sacrificial one minute and then abandon you like that and never look back. I am humiliated for putting myself and this fragile heart of mine on the line, I feel disposable and ruined. Tell me how I can rationalise these unfortunate events. Tell me how.