Today was a bit different in the way I broke routine, instead of studying and doing meaningless household chores I went to a meet up for an upcoming fashion week, I got the chance to be one of the assistant co-ordinators, I am excited and scared at the same time but I feel it’ll be good for me in terms of work experience and just putting myself out there.
My mum said it’d be a good chance to mix and mingle with different people, my social anxiety never flares up when meeting new people, in fact I love meeting new people. My social skills thrive when I am amongst people who don’t know me but it’s when I have to maintain ongoing relationships with these people that’s when my social anxiety comes out to play, I start to worry that maybe they won’t like me anymore when their first impressions of me don’t make a lasting impression and I will start to depreciate in front of their very eyes. I would be exposed and they will know who exactly I really am. I’d rather just “wow” them by wearing one of my many “rad funny chick masks” and let them think I’m great but never see them again but that’s not how life works, you have to build relationships with people and then nurture those relationships.
Anyway, this assistant coordinator gig is only for a few days but I get to be part of the action, backstage passes and what not. They said they would email us with the details and I met some pretty cool girls most of them are doing fashion designing so they have more of reason to want to take part than I do since this is their field but who cares.
In other news, I was reading a post by a fellow blogger and she mentioned how when it comes to eating disorders you have to eat and you know what that gave me confidence to eat my dinner and fill my empty stomach, I was on the verge of passing out… anaemia, starvation, dehydration and lord knows what else. I still feel woozy but I am coping by tomorrow I’ll be much better, it always takes a few days to get back to normal. So that’s my Saturday, I am going to slide into bed and watch some tv shows.